turning 29

I turned 29 today, and I must admit that I'm struggling with how to feel about that. I hate that I'm such a cliche, but it's hard not to feel sad about the things I really and truly believed I would have in my life by the time I turned 30, and pretty clearly won't. I guess I'm just much more conscious of the number of candles on my cake this year. 

Two years ago I was in a very different spot than I am now, and sometimes I look at my present situation and have a hard time recognizing myself in it. I used to have a very clear vision of exactly where I would be at this point and in the future, and somehow I still find it difficult to let go of those dreams.

At the same time, I've accomplished so much this year. My life has changed in so many ways that when I look back it's hard to believe it all happened in less than 12 months. I've taken on more creatively this year than in any year before it, and I have an amazing group of people in my world now that I didn't when I turned 28. I'm so grateful for that. 

I have to keep telling myself that there is no set timeline for these major life events, and that the pressure is all internal. But it's hard not to let fear take over, you know?

What is it about 30?! Why does it somehow feel like the ultimate deadline, and if you're not coupled off or on your dream career path it's time to start panicking? 

Anyone else grappled with this? Anyone look back now and think how silly those thoughts were? Or feel grateful that their life didn't follow the traditional path or go according to 'plan'?